


For John

by Johnnlocked (Krullenbol2602)



Series: For John, only for John, we will try [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Feels, Frottage, Hand Jobs, James' Sholto POV, John Being Shot, John in Afghanistan, Language, M/M, Major Character Injury, Pre-Series, Two Men Not Communicating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-09 15:22:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4354121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krullenbol2602/pseuds/Johnnlocked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world explodes for John Watson and James Sholto</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 15th of July 2009 - Afghanistan

John was avoiding him.

 

Damned IED.

 

James was no idiot; he had seen and recognised the look in John’s eyes when he had been brought back on a stretcher. It had turned out to be nothing more than a bloody sprained ankle and some shrapnel damage. His men had been worse off. They’ve suffered broken bones, collapsed lungs, cuts – John had saved them all.

 

James knew how lucky he had been. How lucky they all had been. IEDs had killed more men and women than he dared to count. And John knew it too.

 

It always was a risk. Being killed on the line of duty. James knew it, John knew it. And although companionship was all well and good, one had to take into consideration that things might end badly. Very badly. It helped no one if you were grieving on the front line.

 

They both had been aware of the risk, but it had started out as nothing more than stress relief. A hint of normality. It had already been too late when James caught himself on trying to make John smile as much as possible. That he longed to see those bright eyes shine with mirth after a long day more than anything else. And James’ heart had twisted when, during their moments together, John’s touch had evolved into something… more. 

 

And now this. That thrice fucked over and damned IED.

 

John had patched him up after his men had been out of danger and nothing but cold professionalism had radiated off of John. He had avoided any eye contact. And James knew, he knew the moment John walked away from him with a curt ‘you’ll be fine’ what had been wrong; John Watson had been scared.

 

Terrified. And it had nothing to do with the IED. Or it had everything to do with it, depending on how one looked at it. It was not himself he was afraid for after all. Or perhaps he was.

James cursed to himself.

 

This was messy. Too messy. It had the potential to ruin them both and more and yet James couldn’t stop thinking about John’s face. Not the John he saw in the ward – James wanted to wipe that memory from his mind as quickly as possible – but the John he had seen in front of his own eyes the moment that IED had gone off.

 

That buggering fucking IED.

 

He needed to talk to John. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1st of August 2009 - Afghanistan

‘Watson!’

 

James could see him flinch. Two weeks and this was the first word spoken between them. Harsh. Commanding. James hated it. But he didn’t have a choice. John had been avoiding him like the plague.

James had wanted to give him time. To calm down. To think. Anything! But after two weeks of nothing, he couldn’t hold back any longer. John might be stubborn but James sure as hell wasn’t about to give up so easily either.

 

‘Sir?’

 

‘A word.’

 

John swallowed and nodded briefly. James ignored the curious glances as he walked out of mess hall and he didn’t need to look around to know John was following him.

 

Privacy is a hard thing to come by, but they found it. They always did. John being an army surgeon and James being a major did have its perks from time to time. But when John closed the door behind then this time, there was no euphoria, no blinding lust or laughter between them.

 

This felt raw. Heavy.

 

Too damned dangerous.

 

 

James didn’t want to let it go.

 

‘John…’

 

John was still not looking at him. He kept his gaze firmly directed on the wall behind him, standing at parade’s rest.

 

‘John.’

 

Something softened in John’s stance, but he still refused to look at him.

 

_Christ, Watson… why didn’t you say anything earlier?_

 

James moved closer before he could stop himself, reaching out and allowing his fingers to seek out John’s. John didn’t fight him as he grabbed John’s clasped hands and pulled one towards him.

 

Those steady hands. Capable of so much. Saving. Loving. Killing. James has seen him do it all. John Watson. A contradiction. A man who saved and destroyed. And a man with a heart too good for this world.

 

‘I’m fine, John.’

 

James barely had time to notice the change in John before he was forced to move backwards until his back collided with the wall and John’s lips were claiming his. Because that was what this was. Claiming. This wasn’t like their usual tentative first kiss. This was hard. Angry. Desperate. Life affirming.

 

And it isn’t until James groaned against John’s mouth, that John relented a little. James could already hear the apologies John would make and he’d pull away again. Not this time.

 

James used the brief pause in John’s onslaught to turn them around.

 

A grunt escaped John’s throat when his back hit the wall behind him. His hands didn’t stop moving, clutching James’ shirt , gripping his arms, his neck, his head, to pull him closer. It hurts and not because of the desperate impatient way their lips met over and over again. But James could taste the fear of losing each other off of John’s lips and it killed him. It killed him that he did this to John. His John. Strong and stubborn, proud and amazing. James decided there and then that he would never do this to him again. They would go home together.

 

John’s shirt was pulled from his trousers and James wasted no time in unbuckling both their belts.

 

Part of James wanted to slow down, to drag this out, but with John in his arms it was difficult to hold back. And John seemed determined not to slow down anytime soon.

 

James could feel John reaching down to grab himself in hand and with a growl, James pushed his hand away to replace it with his own. John hissed, baring his neck to James when he tilted his head back against the wall.

 

‘I’m fine, John,’ James groaned against John’s throat. He was rutting fervently against John’s belly now while moving his hand on John’s cock at the same pace. ‘I’m okay. We both are. Don’t you dare – ah Christ – don’t you dare ignore me like that again.’

 

‘James…’

 

Their mouths crashed together again. Still desperate. Still angry. But John believed him now. There were fine and later, they would have the time to talk. To figureout.

 

John’s movements stilled right before James felt the heat of his ejaculate coat his hand. James pressed him against the wall and held him as John shivered and groaned through his orgasm. And no matter how many times James would see it, or hear it, he wouldn’t never have enough of this.

 

His own orgasm caught up with him by surprise. James stifled his groan against John’s lips. The words nearly escaped him then. Those three damnable words that had the power to ruin everything. He felt them burning through him as his body quivered with release. He heard them in John’s moans, he could feel them in John’s tight grip on his hips, keeping him close.

 

But not now, James thought to himself as they sagged against each other, out of breath and filthy. Not here. Later. When it was just them.

 

‘I’m sorry,’ John muttered, face hiding against James’ chest. ‘I freaked out. I knew this…’

 

‘It’s alright,’ James replied. And it was. They would be alright. 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 14th of August 2009 - Afghanistan

John was shot in his shoulder – the left one, though that didn’t really matter – two weeks later.

 

For the first time in his life, James was afraid. No, that wasn’t right. He was terrified. John was meant to be full of life, with an easy smile and mischievous eyes. Basking in the sunlight whenever he was off duty, soaking in its warmth. Not this.

 

James had been there when they received the ‘man-down’ report – a final check-up before he’d be a free man again. Fit for duty. John had promised to do it himself once he came back. James could remember how John’s fingers had lingered on his skin for just a second before he pulled away with a grin.

 

James’ mind had blanked when he heard John’s name being called over the radio. For one horrifying moment, nobody in the clinic had dared to move. Even during prep, there had been a stifling silence.

 

Their John.

 

His John.

 

John, who saved lives, even if that meant that on occasion he took them as well. A good man. A brave man. A caring man.

 

Shot.

 

James had wanted to throw up.

 

He had when he saw John being wheeled in. John’s face  a ghostly pale, slack, eyes closed. Dead already? No. Bill Murray was sitting on his chest, pressing down hard on John’s shoulder and – oh Christ, the blood! John’s blood!

 

James had barely managed to reach the bathroom in time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one. But then again, sometimes not a lot needs to be said.


End file.
